By: Isabella Querques
The Netflix show Bridgerton is known for its steamy sex scenes, but fans noticed one particular scene that has everyone talking. Daphne the main character initiates having sex with her new husband Simon Basset which was consensual at first, but soon after Daphne puts herself on top of Simon so he can’t use the pull-out method. I will admit at first it never crossed my mind that this scene was a rape scene, but as I did more research on this issue it became more clear to me why people are so mad about it. Daphne entered marriage life without any knowledge on what to expect, but it still doesn’t make it right for the directors to add such a scandalous scene for the wrong reasons. Reading Twitter comments that fans tweeted about the issue that was built in the show, made me realize how they didn’t include any trigger warnings and how the scene wasn’t portrayed to bring awareness about male consent, but it was looked at more for a plot device. Bridgerton presented many different issues throughout the show but discussed them in the wrong way possible.
A little background for those who haven’t seen the show yet, Bridgerton is a Netflix show based on a book series written by Julia Quinn. In each individual book, Quinn tells the story through each member of the Bridgerton family: Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth. The stories are being set between the years 1813 and 1827 during the Regency period in England. As the main character, the eldest daughter Daphne tries to find true love like her parents, but soon enough she encounters the Duke of Hastings. Both characters want nothing to do with what the other has to offer, but their attraction is undeniable and they find themselves engaged in an increasing battle of wits.
When people hear that a man gets sexually harassed by a female they perceive them as weak. Katie Silver, a broadcast journalist for The BBC News conducted research that highlights that men can’t be abused because they are supposed to be strong and dominant. A participant that Silver interviewed stated, “We’re scared to talk about it, and when we do we’re not believed.” This connects with Simon because during the time period of the early 19th century women were supposed to fill the man's needs, so if anyone heard that Simon was sexually harassed by his wife no one would have believed him. Instead of digging deeper into Simon’s emotional reaction to what has happened to him, Bridgerton failed the audience by ignoring his feelings and focusing on how Daphne felt with the reason Simon pulled out every time. If society taught children at a young age the meaning of consent, I believe the percentage rate of rape would have decreased if kids understand the true meaning. Grace Tatter, a digital content creator at The Harvard Graduate School of Education researched different strategies to teach kids in kindergarten through high school about the importance of consent and respecting each other's boundaries. Tatter stated “But at its core, it’s an idea that many learn as early as preschool — the notion that we should respect one another’s boundaries, to be safe, preserve dignity, and build healthy relationships.” If Daphne was taught about sex she would’ve understood the reason he kept pulling out during intercourse, and she wouldn’t have forced herself on him. Like Tatter said, learning consent could have taught Daphne to preserve dignity and build a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one. In today’s society women are viewed as more vulnerbale and more important when it comes to sexual abuse compared to men. Alice Kelly, a writer from YourTango does a great job explaining this issue and explores how Bridgerton failed individuals who were a victim of sexual violence. Kelly stated, “If the roles were reversed and a woman was being forcibly straddled by a man as she asks him to stop, the outrage would be enormous. And yet a scene that is painfully familiar to many male victims of sexual abuse is used as an entertaining plot device.” This just proves that women who encounter sexual abuse are more important than a male who experience it.
Bridgerton did not only fail the audience by not bringing awareness to male consent, but they failed us with teaching lying is okay. The reason why Simon kept pulling out during intercourse was that he didn’t want kids. Before Simon and Daphne got married he said he couldn’t have kids. This made Daphne question if she wanted to be with Simon because her dream was to have a family, but as we all know she chose to stay with him and live with the fact she won’t ever have a family. Once Daphne found out the truth that Simon doesn’t want kids, this put the newlywed in a toxic relationship, which led the show, Bridgerton to ignore the fact that Daphne raped her husband. Elizabeth Karpen, a journalist for Her Campus at Columbia Barnard researched both the book and tv show and how it fails to reckon the actions of the characters who think sexual assault is acceptable and romantic. Karpen mentions “His vow to never have children, and his refusal to tell Daphne about this vow is the center of the latter half of the series. Simon deliberately tells her that he “can’t” have children, not that he “won’t.” This goes to show that Simon lied to Daphne by refusing to tell her the truth of him not wanting to have kids because he doesn’t want to carry down his father's legacy. Berit Brogaard helps depict deception perfectly in another way by analyzing that being dishonest to your partner before having any sexual intercourse is a sign of sexual deceit. Brogaard states, “Sexual deceit includes both failure to disclose information about yourself as well as lying about yourself.” Although Simon never forced Daphne to have sex with him, he lied about not wanting kids which Brogaard mentions is sexual deceit.
Bridgerton did not only fail the audience by not bringing awareness to male consent, but they failed us with teaching lying is okay.
As Bridgerton brings up the conversation about women's sexual education, Katherine Olivera shares the importance of empowering females and how the proper education can help women take control of their bodies, plan their future, avoid unintended pregnancy, and forced marriages. Olivera identifies “Comprehensive sexuality education that addresses gender norms, human rights, and power within relationships can help reduce child marriage and unplanned pregnancies by equipping young people with skills to navigate their sexualities and take control over their lives.” This implies if a woman receives comprehensive sexuality education, females are more likely to have control over their lives and figure what they want in life with no one taking advantage of them. It can also help them be more prepared for their future and with marriage. If Daphne was given the empowerment of women's sexual education she would’ve understood the reasonings behind Simon’s action and would’ve had a mature conversation about it, instead of forcing herself on top of him. Another article, that helps bring awareness to women's sexual education is “Let’s Talk About Sex- Education” by Women's Deliver. Women Deliver is an advocacy organization that helps women with their rights, health, and wellbeing that adolescents get uncomfortable talking about sex, which leads them to retain incorrect information. Women Deliver identifies, “Far too often, this means young people do not receive even the most basic sexuality education, instead of learning myths and misinformation, which can sometimes have harmful consequences on their lives.” This fits perfectly with Daphne's mother because she felt very uncomfortable with having a conversation with her daughter about sex and marriage life. With her mother ignoring the fact to share information with her daughter, she goes into marriage blindly and not knowing what to expect.
Although the statistics of sexual harassment toward men are lower than women, it still occurs throughout the world and people need to know more about it. As for teaching women sexual education, it can help women grow up understanding how to respect themselves. These issues are very important in today’s society due to the fact that they happen frequently throughout the world. As I previously stated that Bridgerton had a bad experience with discussing the main issues in the show, some ways they could’ve brought attention to these issues was talking about the issue they have presented and not running away from it. If they didn’t want to address the problem, they could’ve at least found a way to put a trigger warning for those who find this issue very sensitive. There were many ways to address the issues, but it was on the directors and the person who created the script who thought it wasn’t as important to share with the audience. With the research and evidence provided, society can come together to find a way to inform children at an appropriate age to teach them issues that Bridgerton failed to mention.
Isabella Querques is a freshman at Bloomfield College. She is 20 years old majoring in Nursing. She is still unsure what she wants to pursue, but her heart knows that she wants to help people around the world.
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